Hosting a viewing night as a hospita: practical guide for 2026

You've listed your room, the first replies are coming in, and now you have to organise a hospi-avond. For many hospitas (the Dutch term for homeowners who rent out a room in their own home), this is the most nerve-wracking part: in just a few hours you have to choose someone who'll soon be sleeping next door, sharing your shower, and eyeing your coffee machine on a morning when you're not in the mood for chitchat. No pressure.

Good news: you can approach this in a structured way so that you can make a well-grounded choice within an evening. No gut feeling, no "they seemed nice", but a sober process that protects both you and your future housemate. In this article we walk through every step, from the invitation to the closing email to the candidates you don't choose.

Who do you invite and how many candidates are realistic?

The biggest pitfall as a hospita: panicking at the volume of replies and inviting everyone who "seems okay". You can't sustain grilling thirteen candidates in one evening, and it's not fair to them either. Aim for four to eight serious candidates in one evening. Fewer than four and you have too little to compare. More than eight and by the time you make your decision you won't remember who you actually liked.

How do you filter beforehand? Ask yourself three questions about each reply:

• Does the basic profile fit? Age, work or study status, primary language, how long they want to stay. If you'd prefer a housemate around 30 and someone aged 19 writes that they want to stay a year before going abroad, that probably doesn't match, and it's fairer to say so now than after an evening of conversation.
• Do they write more than one sentence? A message saying "is the room still available?" with no further context tells you little. Someone who writes three sentences about themselves and asks a question about the house is taking it seriously.
• Does the tone feel right? Not rationally, but genuinely. If the first line already irritates you, an hour in your living room won't be enjoyable either.

Send the people you don't invite a brief, friendly reply. "We've had many responses, and this time we've picked other candidates to invite. Best of luck with your search." That costs you a minute and saves another person from being crushed when they hear nothing back for three weeks.

How do you schedule time slots and how long should a viewing last?

For a hospita situation (you live there yourself, you rent a room to one housemate), individual viewings often work better than a group night. You get a real conversation, candidates can relax, and you don't have to navigate four group dynamics in one evening.

Plan time slots of 20 to 30 minutes. Less than 20 and you don't get a conversation; more than 30 and it becomes a deeper conversation that you don't want yet, before you know whether there's a click. Between candidates, leave a 10-minute buffer: catch your breath, jot down notes, drink a glass of water.

A typical evening then looks like this:

• 18:30 – Candidate 1 (30 min)
• 19:10 – Candidate 2 (30 min)
• 19:50 – Candidate 3 (30 min)
• 20:30 – Break, eat
• 21:00 – Candidate 4 (30 min)
• 21:40 – Candidate 5 (30 min)

Five candidates in an evening is comfortable. Six is doable. Seven or eight gets heavy; spread it across two evenings instead.

If you want a group hospi (all candidates at once), that works less well in a hospita situation. The format was devised for student houses where existing housemates pick a new one together. With you, you're the sole decision-maker, and that feels odd in a group setting for the candidates. Keep it personal.

Which questions should you ask, and which must you absolutely not?

The trick to a hospi conversation is asking open questions that reveal how someone thinks and lives, not yes/no questions answered with socially desirable replies. "Are you tidy?" gets you nothing. Everyone says yes. "How often do you clean your kitchen?" is more concrete. "On which day is your kitchen most of a mess, and what do you do then?" is gold.

A set of eight good questions for a hospi conversation:

• Tell me briefly about yourself. What do you do during the day, what does your evening look like?
• Why are you moving now, and how long do you think you want to stay here?
• What does your ideal living situation look like in terms of vibe? Lots of time together or more separate?
• What do you do if the kitchen hasn't been cleaned in a week and you want to cook?
• How often do you have visitors on average, and how do you feel about overnight guests?
• How do you handle noise? Working from home, music on, earbuds in?
• What are the three things you appreciate in a housemate?
• Do you have any questions about me, the house or how I'd like things here?

Ask these questions to every candidate, in the same order. Not because it should feel like a job interview, but because you want to be able to compare fairly afterwards. Take brief notes on a piece of paper or your phone. After five conversations you won't remember.

What you must NOT ask, not even "casually": questions about origin, religion, sexual orientation, family composition (desire to have children), health or pregnancy. The General Equal Treatment Act applies to hospitas too. You can say you're looking for a housemate without pets (because you're allergic, for example), or that you'd prefer not someone who cooks every night in the kitchen (because you both need to make time for that). Practical preferences are allowed, person-based discrimination is not. For the fine print, read our article on preventing discrimination on the housing market and tips in questions you may ask a prospective tenant.

How do you use a scoresheet to choose objectively?

You don't need to be a recruiter to make a simple scoresheet. The goal isn't scientific precision, but to ensure you assess candidates on comparable points and not just remember, an hour after the hospi, who sat at the table last.

A workable scoresheet has five categories, each scored from 1 to 5:

• Click and vibe: did it feel natural, would I happily have a coffee with this person?
• Practical match: life rhythm, work-home balance, social expectations.
• Cleanliness and household: level of order matching how I live.
• Communication: did this person listen well, ask questions, give clear answers?
• Stability: how plausible is it that they'll stay at least 6-12 months?

Under each row, write one short sentence as explanation. Not as justification to the candidate (this is a private document), but for yourself, so that two days later you still know why you felt something. Don't keep this sheet longer than necessary and shred it once you've chosen.

A nice rule: the scoresheet doesn't decide, you decide. But if you're hesitating, the sheet helps you spot patterns. Someone who scores 4 on every category is usually a better choice than someone with three 5s and two 2s. Stability weighs more than short-term click.

How do you create atmosphere without it becoming a party?

A hospi evening isn't a job interview and isn't a drinks party. You want a candidate to feel at ease so you see a real person, not the rehearsed-interview version of them. At the same time, you want to avoid it becoming a casual drinks affair where you forget what you wanted to ask.

What works well:

• Offer something to drink, but keep it low-key. Tea, coffee, water, a beer or soft drink. No wine or cocktail; that sets the tone too heavy.
• Set out some simple snacks. A bowl of nuts, some olives, a block of cheese. Don't go all-out; that feels too ceremonial.
• Make sure the house looks normally tidy. Not sterile-clean, or your candidate will assume that's how it must always be. Dishes done, no clutter, lights dimmed.
• Put quiet music on at low volume in the background. Helps with awkward silences.

Start each conversation with a tour of the house (10 minutes), so the candidate sees the space where they might live. Then move to the living room or kitchen for the actual conversation. That way everyone has a natural opening and you don't have to dive straight into Q&A mode on the sofa.

Don't forget to show the room. Always open the door, let them have a look around, answer questions about furnishings, the bed, workspace, storage. Many candidates don't dare ask about it specifically, but they want to see it.

What do you do after the hospi-avond?

The work isn't over the moment the last candidate walks out the door. The next step determines whether the process ends fairly and whether you find a good housemate.

Sleep on it. Your best choice is usually not the candidate you were most relaxed with during the conversation, but the one you still feel good about the next morning. On the night itself, candidates are doing their best, and so are you. The next morning your gut feeling is purer.

Review your scoresheet. Who has the highest score? Who's right behind? Write a few sentences about why your number 1 ranks above number 2. If you can't put it into words, you're still too uncertain to decide; give it another day.

Reply within 48 hours to everyone, not just the candidate you choose. A typical message for the rejected candidates:

"Hi [name], thank you so much for coming over yesterday. It was a great conversation and I valued getting to know you. I've chosen another candidate this time because [a brief, sincere reason – something practical, not a judgement of the person]. Wishing you the very best with the rest of your search."

For your chosen candidate: call or send a personal message. Ask whether they're still keen, and discuss the practical next steps: signing the contract, key handover, first payment. Give them a day or two for a definitive yes, so in an emergency you can still fall back on your number 2.

Which mistakes do hospitas most often make during a hospi?

A handful of recurring pitfalls, based on what we hear from Huismaatje hospitas:

• Talking too much from your own nervousness. You have a house, you decide. But you'll also be living with that person. Talk 40% of the time, listen 60%.
• Presenting the room as a done deal. Some hospitas are so eager to choose someone that they start in on house rules and the deposit before they even know whether there's a click. Get to know each other first, then sort out the business.
• Rejecting a candidate on a gut feeling without a check. Sometimes you sense something true; sometimes it's pure prejudice. Ask yourself: would a friend reject this person for the same reason, or is something personal in my judgement?
• Choosing on the night itself. Unwise. Sleep on it.
• Not replying to rejected candidates. Bad for your karma and bad for the market; everyone suffers from hospitas who ghost.

Taking time costs you nothing. Snap decisions about housing usually cost you a lot later.

Frequently asked questions

Can I reject a candidate because they don't fit my budget target group?

You can reject a candidate because you doubt whether they can structurally afford the rent, provided you test that the same way for everyone. What's not allowed: rejecting a candidate because they're on benefits while accepting someone with a temporary contract without issue. Ask about income stability (permanent contract, freelance annual figures, scholarship plus side job) and apply the same yardstick to everyone.

What if all candidates are disappointing and I don't want to choose anyone?

Choosing no one is a legitimate outcome. You're going to live with this person; a so-so match becomes a major problem in six months. List your ad again on Huismaatje, possibly with a sharper profile description, and organise a new evening in two or three weeks. Better to search two extra weeks than have a year of trouble.

How many people respond to a hospita ad on average?

A well-written ad in a tight market like Amsterdam typically gets 20 to 80 replies in the first 48 hours. Of those, often 5 to 15 are genuinely serious and matching your profile. In quieter cities or outside the city centre the number is lower: 10 to 30 replies is normal. If no one's replied after a week, it's probably the price, the photos or the description of the house.

Can I state a preference for a female housemate in the ad?

Hospitas can, under current Dutch legislation, express a preference for the gender of their housemate in a shared-living situation. That falls under the exception "housemate in own home". For regular rentals (a separate flat) that wouldn't be allowed. For a hospita room in your own home, you can therefore indicate you're looking for a woman. Do so carefully and only if you genuinely have a reason; many hospitas choose not to state a preference to keep their candidate pool broad.

What if my first choice drops out after the conversation?

Call or email number 2 and ask whether they're still available. Be honest: "My first choice ended up dropping out, and you were a strong second for me. Are you still interested?" Many candidates are still available and appreciate the openness. If number 2 doesn't work, go back to your ad or schedule a new evening. Don't try to keep two people warm "just in case"; that's unfair and it always comes out.

Schedule your hospi-avond easily through Huismaatje

Looking to rent out your room as a hospita without Kamernet pricing or aggressive invitations? On Huismaatje you list your room for free, plan a viewing night with time slots and pick your housemate at your own pace. Our hospi tool helps you invite candidates, schedule slots and keep your scoresheet, all in one place. List your room →